Fresh face anxiety 

Fresh Face Anxiety

I stayed at my boyfriend’s house one night this week, before work the next morning. As per, I was rushing to pack my overnight stay bag, due to running late (which I hate).

It had got to 10pm before I’d realised that the one thing I had forgotten to pack was my makeup bag… Other than clothes for the next day, this is one of the most important things to pack!

At this point I started to get anxious and nervous, frantically searching through my bag for a stray mascara or concealer but I had no luck; that’s when panic mode struck! The thought of having to go to work the next day with no makeup terrified me! I was even seriously considering getting up extra early in the morning to go back to my house to retrieve it, despite not being a morning person in the slightest.

My boyfriend laughed when he saw how frustrated and on-edge I was about this and stated that he thinks I’m beautiful with or without makeup (aww)! He then asked why it was such a big deal anyway?

I pondered over that question for a while… Why was this such a big deal to me? Why was I getting so upset about the thought of going au naturel to work? When did this anxiety about wearing no makeup in public begin? I couldn’t firmly answer any of these questions as I was unsure myself as to why I had this fear! I used to go to work wearing no makeup quite regularly, in fact most days; however when I made the effort to put makeup on, I’d feel much more confident.
The more I wore makeup, the more apprehensive I became about not wearing it, until eventually I wouldn’t go without it as it made me feel a whole lot better about myself when I did.

I didn’t realise how much I was relying on beauty products to make me feel confident about myself until that night. I was worried that people wouldn’t think about me as highly and would think that I was unwell/tired (which lets face it, people always ask when you’ve not made as much effort). When I thought about it deeply, I understood that I was over-thinking the situation, but I’d still see how I look and feel in the morning, as to whether I would make the detour to my house on route.

When the morning came, before even scrutinising myself in the mirror, I had already made the decision not to collect my beloved makeup bag. I was quite upset to realise that I was relying on makeup to feel confident about leaving the house, after all we should embrace our natural beauty. No comments were made at work and it didn’t affect my day one bit. And I finally agreed with my boyfriend that it is not really a big deal! Although I have to be honest, I was happy to be reunited with my cosmetics the next day!

I wouldn’t consider myself to wear a lot of makeup on a daily basis, but the impact of how it makes us feel is astonishing. Is it a good thing that cosmetics make us feel great about our image? Or is it quite the opposite; is it frightening that we are having to rely on them to enable us to accept ourselves? What do you think?

M x

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